People That Piss Me Off, Part I
People That Piss Me Off Part I
Here's a new thing I'm gonna try. I call it "Peaple That Piss Me Off". It should be very easy. I'm ready to do a bunch, cuz people piss me off a lot.
The first people I'll do are people that walk down the middle of the parking lots between rows. Yeah, I'm talking to you, you fuckheads. Did you not realize people drive here? Did you start walking in the middle of this parking lot thinking "how did all these cars get here, certainly not by driving RIGHT WHERE I'M FUCKING WALKING." "Hmm, what's that smell. It smells like car exaust, but where is it coming from?" I'll tell you where it's coming from you fucker. It's RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND YOU. All I want to do is park my damn car and you have to mosey your ass right down the middle of the lane. Oh, and don't think I forgot about you Ms. Diagonal walker from cars to sidewalk. Yeah, it's so inconvenient for you to go straight from where the cars are to where the sidewalk is, so you feel the need to walk at a 170 degree angle from the cars to the sidewalk so that my ass has to drive behind you for a football field. Thank you so much. Oh, and I certainly didn't forget the seperated family walking down both sides of a row and not leaving enough room for my car to get through. Ok, yeah, you cunt, it's too difficult for you to keep those kids by your side so you just let them run all around and block my fucking car. Thank you so much. Oh, and you just looked back at me to see I'm driving 1/2 a mile an hour behind your ass. Hmm, you still didn't move your ass out of the way. I love you and your fat ass. I understand why you parked so far away now. You need the exercise really really bad. Ok, I'm done.
Next Time: People that block the aisles with carts in grocery stores and make you stand there like a dumbass waiting for them to move so that you don't feel like a dick.
Here's a new thing I'm gonna try. I call it "Peaple That Piss Me Off". It should be very easy. I'm ready to do a bunch, cuz people piss me off a lot.
The first people I'll do are people that walk down the middle of the parking lots between rows. Yeah, I'm talking to you, you fuckheads. Did you not realize people drive here? Did you start walking in the middle of this parking lot thinking "how did all these cars get here, certainly not by driving RIGHT WHERE I'M FUCKING WALKING." "Hmm, what's that smell. It smells like car exaust, but where is it coming from?" I'll tell you where it's coming from you fucker. It's RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND YOU. All I want to do is park my damn car and you have to mosey your ass right down the middle of the lane. Oh, and don't think I forgot about you Ms. Diagonal walker from cars to sidewalk. Yeah, it's so inconvenient for you to go straight from where the cars are to where the sidewalk is, so you feel the need to walk at a 170 degree angle from the cars to the sidewalk so that my ass has to drive behind you for a football field. Thank you so much. Oh, and I certainly didn't forget the seperated family walking down both sides of a row and not leaving enough room for my car to get through. Ok, yeah, you cunt, it's too difficult for you to keep those kids by your side so you just let them run all around and block my fucking car. Thank you so much. Oh, and you just looked back at me to see I'm driving 1/2 a mile an hour behind your ass. Hmm, you still didn't move your ass out of the way. I love you and your fat ass. I understand why you parked so far away now. You need the exercise really really bad. Ok, I'm done.
Next Time: People that block the aisles with carts in grocery stores and make you stand there like a dumbass waiting for them to move so that you don't feel like a dick.
posted by Bokonon at 7:33 PM
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